The answer to this one might surprise you.
More Beginners Articles
If I’ve done anything over the eight year span of writing this blog, I hope I’ve taught you discernment. Today I’m giving you a few tools to help you discern whether or not you should be putting your trust in someone online, whether it be a spiritual teacher or coach.
“Vulnerability porn or performative vulnerability” looks like sharing highly curated intimate details of one’s life for the sake of engagement, virtue signaling, and at the end of the day, sales. This brand of faux authenticity still only shows you a small piece of the whole picture. As with everything, it’s often not the action itself, but rather, the motivation behind it. Let’s explore.
Question submission: “I have to read conversations with God again. What about the theory where our divine self (soul/whatever) chose this existence/the experiences that we are living now?”
Question submission: “Do you believe that you can deeply feel when you are in the presence of a genuinely bad person? And if so, how is that something you can explain without sounding crazy to others? Sorry to just jump in your DMs. I’m just sitting on this really hard today and I have a feeling that you maybe know this feeling too.”
Time to talk about “abundance” mindsets and whether or not you can really get rich by simply thinking positive thoughts. The sordid history of this popular concept might surprise you.
It’s important that we recognize when and how systems of oppression and classism show up in our community and in our own spiritual and business practices. Here’s a few ways that may be happening and what you can do about it.
For those in the know, “spiritual ego” is quite rampant in the spiritual community. The more mainstream spirituality has become in the west, the more it has been influenced by individualistic Western cultural values, resulting in what social science has now termed spiritual narcissism.
I reference individualism frequently in my posts and point to it as one of the underlying problems with Western spirituality. I wanted to take some time to do a deeper dive on this so everyone understands what I’m talking about.
A common misconception that many spiritual people have is that spirituality tells us that we each create our own reality. What many often don’t realize, however, is that reality isn’t what is subjective –– your experience of it is what is subjective. The personal beliefs and opinions formed by those experiences are may not be valid, particularly compared to someone else’s.
One of the most common confusions in spirituality – and the most damaging – is the Law of Attraction. So today, I’m explaining what the Law of Attraction really is, and how almost all New Agers have had it all wrong this entire time.
You might think spirituality is supposed to be void of cultural programming. After all, it’s supposed to push us to question all of those things. But does it, really? Especially when it comes to the Divine Masculine and Feminine, patriarchy seeps in. Here’s how to identify it.
Question from a reader: “I have a fear that I may have cancer. I’m just 19 years old and I eat well and healthy. This thought comes at random times and I’m afraid that I may manifest this crazy thought. But sometimes I shrug it off easily. I’m really confused since I don’t know how to stop these thoughts and be free of this.”
Spirituality and holistic wellness is supposed to be about the mind, body, and spirit, but a lot of toxic, ungrounded spirituality completely ignores the entire body part and only focuses on the mind or the spirit. Here’s how to discern whether or not a spiritual teacher/teaching is disembodied (and thus, not holistic).
Toss your old notions of karma out the window. It’s time for a new take that’s less victim-blamey.
Question from a reader: “Do crystals really have properties that can be helpful for healing? I’m so skeptical of that and wonder if it’s a scam to get us to make some people wealthy. I don’t like spending money and won’t spend it unless I can see/validate it’s usefulness, but I’m still keen on your opinion on how and why they work.”
Spiritual professions are an area ripe for manipulation due to the lack of structure, cohesion in teachings, no governing body to regulate them, and a host of wide-eyed people in pain seeking answers from gurus. Here’s some tips on identifying patterns of behavior from a narcissist disguised as a “light worker.”
Toxic spirituality is mired in spiritual narcissism. As such, many of us experience symptoms of narcissistic abuse under the guise of spiritual teachings. Gaslighting is a spiritual abuse tactic used to keep followers under the thumb of narcissistic cult leaders. Here’s how it’s subtly affected you.
Not all spirituality is helpful or healthy spirituality. Trauma-informed spirituality is where we need to go in our attempts to leave behind toxic spirituality. Here’s what that is, and how to identify it.
The concept of victim consciousness gets thrown around by New Agers a lot as this motivation for every single person needing to take 100% personal responsibility for everything that happens to them, but this label gets thrown at the wrong people most of the time and I’m going to tell you why.
Do humans truly truly have free will? Don’t be an April fool.
Question from a reader: “How do you balance masculine and feminine energies?”
The flip side of spiritual narcissism is spiritual codependency. Do you think you’re responsible for manifesting all of the shit people and situations that have come into your life? It might be time to reexamine that frame of mind.
Fear gets a bad rap in New Age spirituality. I’m here to argue that certain, very obvious kinds of fear need to fuck off, but other kinds of fear are actually quite helpful in helping you determine where your edges are.
Spirituality and mental illness have a complex relationship. My goal today is to talk about mental illness within the spiritual community in a way that can help those of you reading this recognize just how pervasive it is in the spiritual community and help you identify spiritual people–psychics, channels, influencers, whomever–suffering from mental illness, all the while without stigmatizing it.
I’ve been receiving a lot of comments on my posts lately from people within the spiritual community and outside of it all saying the same thing: “I don’t understand how people got from spirituality to QAnon.” Hold my beer, I’m gonna draw you a diagram…
One of the main goals of spirituality is to move away from separation consciousness and ascend by achieving unity consciousness, but separation consciousness has infiltrated spirituality (!). Are you unknowingly embodying separation consciousness in the name of spirituality?
The time has come for the spiritual community to confront its own shadow.
Learn how to identify people who’ve placed themselves in positions of power and authority who perhaps have no business being there.
You can’t be anti-science AND be spiritual. Here’s why.
For a community that is supposed to be focused on love, light, and healing, New Agers have invented and contributed to some of the most toxic, harmful, bullshit ideologies on the planet, and nine times out of ten, the Law of Attraction is behind it. Here’s what everybody gets wrong about LOA.
I talk about shadow work all the time on social media. I’ve had a few people ask me questions about what the shadow is, what shadow work involves, and express an interest in learning more, so I’ve revamped an old post to provide a better explanation, as well as make a connection between spirituality and psychology that I think is often overlooked or misunderstood in the spiritual community.
There’s five people we all meet on our spiritual journey that we wish we hadn’t. Here’s who they are, how to spot them, why you should avoid them.
One thing we all look for on our spiritual path is signs. Signs help guide us, give us validation, and simply give us hints that there’s more to reality than meets the eye. We call those signs “synchronicities.” But is it really synchronicity? Or is it something else?
I originally wrote the first half of this post in 2015, but I came across something on Facebook last night that reminded me of it and I had some additional thoughts to add. The phrase “Speak your truth” comes with a couple of important caveats. I’m diving into a new one in the second half of this post.
It’s been ages since I’ve done a Q&A post, but this was submitted as a comment on my post about spiritual teacher credibility and I thought it was worth addressing for a broader audience.
The concept of credibility came up in my post on critical thinking and spirituality yesterday. I think part of our issue today with all of the misinformation floating around is that a lot of people don’t really understand what credibility means. Today I’m going to give you a rundown of what makes someone credible in the realms of science and journalism, and how to apply that to spirituality.
It’s time to talk about toxic spiritual concepts and its contribution to victim shaming and the enabling of abusive dynamics.
Learn about different types of psychic abilities and the breakdown of predominant clairs, how people use various psychic modalities, and more.
If we’re all one, how can we have boundaries? And why should we?
Question from a reader: “How can I tell the difference between my guides or intuition and my mind? Sometimes I’m thinking and it appears as a thought, but I cannot recognize when it is me and when it is them.”
Question from a reader: “I’ve been considering writing a blog for over 5 years. One of the largest questions I ask is: what makes what I have to say so special that warrants a blog. This concern feels like what you describe as the (spiritual) “ego” but I’m also curious about the role of the ego in terms of how society/pop culture use the term. So my question is: what is the role/relationship of (pop culture) ego with (spiritual) ego?”
Meditation allows us to reach alpha state most often, and theta state in the most practiced meditators. Each of these states produce a different kind of intuitive experience and allow us to access different levels of our multidimensional self. I find that most novices don’t realize that there are different types of meditation and each type lends itself to an entirely different purpose.
Question from a reader: “Since I was 5 I have intuitively known things that others did not. My parents who would say, “No honey that won’t happen because of xyz.” and then it would happen… they were puzzled and confused. They realized I had a gift of some sort and eventually would even ask me questions. I carried this gift as an adult to my career of being a police officer/detective. How can you explain this feeling of knowing and additionally I would like to try and better develop my skills. What and how can I do this?”
Law of Attraction is often confused with the concept of Karma, or people take it at a very literal, surface level and believe that their thoughts, quite literally, manifest around them. Ha! If only it were that simple! In today’s blog post, I’ll try to explain how we create complex belief structures around the fundamental beliefs that live in our subconscious mind and how those things are the mechanism from which Law of Attraction is set in motion.
“I am a bit confused about personality and soul. I understand about being in alignment and think I can feel when I am in it. However I am not sure if this is because I am in alignment with my personality or soul. If I live not in balance with my personality, I am soon aware that I don’t feel in alignment, but I thought that our personalities are just cloaks for our souls? Rarely do I feel urge to do something which I wouldn’t ordinarily do and wondered if this is soul overriding personality?”
This is definitely one of the more hotly debated topics I’ve seen here and there. Should people be expected to pay for a psychic service or healing? Read on…
Universal Archetypes: The Connection Between Tarot, Numerology, Dream Interpretation, Palmistry and Astrology
Did you know that numerology, astrology, dream interpretation, tarot and palmistry are all connected? A lot of times when you learn about these things independently, you may miss the ways they all intersect. Learn more about archetypes in today’s blog post.
Question from a reader:
“Can your past lives create havoc on the life you are currently living? Does regression therapy help? If you feel completely and entirely unbalanced and you have this guy feeling it has something to do with a past life or something along those lines, do you have any solid advice? Thank you!”
Question from a reader:
“I wanted to know if I had past lives and if so how many?”
Question from a reader:
“What does channeling feel like? Do you hear the spirits’ voices? Are you able to see them? How do you know that the ideas (if they communicate with thought) are really them and not something made up unconsciously by your mind?”
When attempting to develop psychic abilities, contact guides or deceased loved ones, attitude is everything. It is what will make or break your attempts at getting in touch with the other side. There are a few foundational things that you need to internalize, and one of the biggest is ATTITUDE.
Question from a reader:
“When a trusted channeler through his/her channeled spirits states unequivocally that a specific event/outcome will occur, should we accept that prediction at face value because it comes from the spiritual dimension? Can free will sometimes negate/change what seems to be an announced predestination?”
I think, in the spiritual community, we often confuse healthy anger with bitterness and rage (unhealthy anger), which leads us to shun any and all expressions of anger. I know I’ve been guilty of that in the past, but anger can also be a healthy emotion. Here’s some tips to figure out whether or not anger is justified.
If you’re like me, you’re taking a few days off around the holidays and you’re probably going to be looking forward to doing a little Netflix and chill after the fam heads out of town. If that be the case, here’s a few documentaries you might want to check out, personally viewed, approved, and highly recommended by me.
A handy guide on identifying a naturally occurring phenomena that is often confused for spirit orbs.
I’m sure many of you have had experiences where you’ve come across a spiritual teacher who just didn’t resonate with you, or perhaps you had a psychic reading from someone that just didn’t feel quite right. In those times, we often doubt ourselves, because we’re still placing our faith in things and people outside of ourselves. But it’s of the utmost importance to trust your instincts.
I think this is a HUGELY important topic among spiritual people for one reason: For people who are allegedly so concerned with finding the Truth, they sure do circulate an awful lot of bullshit. That being said, it is of the utmost importance that each of us takes responsibility for detaching ourselves from what we WANT to be true, and get off our lazy asses to find out what actually IS true.
What is enlightenment? How does achieving it changes your perception, energy, psychology and what is its exact mechanism?
One of the more difficult concepts to grasp when it comes to spiritual metaphysics is the idea of what exactly constitutes a dimension. So what is all of this talk about 3D and fourth dimension and fifth density, anyway?
You hear a lot of talk about boundaries. “Set boundaries.” “Uphold boundaries.” “Don’t overstep boundaries.” But what exactly does that mean and what does it look like?
Everybody thinks of “the shift” or “Ascension” or whatever the fuck you want to label it – they think it’s going to change the world. It’s not.
Question from a reader:
“Do tumbled/polished crystals have the same strength as raw/natural ones? Also, does it matter if you keep them in an enclosed container like a small box or should I place them in an open one like a tray?”
It’s really hard to see clearly when there’s a yucky film on your glasses. It’s really hard to hear someone clearly when there’s a ton of background noise. It’s really hard to talk when you have a sore throat. All of these things get in the way of your ability to clearly communicate. So what’s getting in the way of your ability to communicate with spirit?
A person lives in a fear-based belief system when they have not yet remembered who they really are and still cling to fearful beliefs and perceptions. When they have not yet realized that everything in their world is love, and the only thing that makes it appear as fear is their limited understanding of it.
Everyone always asks the wrong questions from Tarot. In this post, I’ll show you how phrase your questions to get the best results!
Have you ever noticed how hard it is to tell someone not to be critical or judgmental without being, well, critical and judgmental?
There’s a quote by Wayne Dyer that says, “When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.”
Today, my friend Tara Olowoye of Introspection D.C. (based in Washington D.C., duh) is going to talk a little bit about energy healing. Tara and I participated in a little distance healing experiment a few weeks ago that you might be interested in reading about over on her blog once you’re done with this one.
Learn how to identify some of the most deeply rooted belief systems and societal programming.
Question from a reader:
“I have had a difficult time trying to figure out what my life purpose is. Right now, it seems like it could go so many ways. I keep jumping back and forth between what I think I should do with my life and I am unable to decide. How can I find direction in my life and career? I just feel like I need someone or something to give me a little push and tell me which option to pursue.”
Question from a reader: “I struggle with noticing synchronicities; rather, I struggle with an internal dialog of feeling nuts when I notice synchronicity. Banish fear, sure. But there’s a difference between discernment and neurosis. I guess that’s a good description of the elements at play…”
I think one of the hardest metaphysical concepts for people to wrap their mind around is the idea that time is just an illusion. In this post, I’ll try to simplify that concept into something even more simplistic to give you an idea of how every moment that has ever occurred or will occur exists together outside of time – including your past and future lives, parallel realities, etc.
Question from a reader:
“My daughter and I were talking about channeling. She said the thing she didn’t understand was how we can communicate with a particular spirit if they reincarnate. I don’t understand the specifics of how this works. Can you shed light on this?”
Question from a reader: “Before my great nan died, whenever the phone rang early in the morning every time I was with my dad my stomach dropped. The last Christmas we had with her, I asked my cousin do you think this will be our last Christmas with nan? And he said no, but I said yes it will be. Then the day she died I was at my dad’s house and the phone rang early in the morning. Somehow I knew. I’m still confused how I was going to find out. Does this mean I have a little bit of a physic ability or just a one timer sixth sense?”
Question from a reader:
“Why do some people possess spiritual gifts right from childhood whereas others have to develop it? What is the mechanism to develop any psychic ability one prefers and how long does it take for anyone to develop and master it? Is it possible that anyone can develop any psychic ability?”
Question from a reader: “I have some fears that I can’t seem to get out of my mind, fears of losing my partner to a car accident, or of him getting hit on his bicycle, among a myriad of other fears surrounding my family. I often try to pray to archangel Michael right after I imagine one of these accidents, but I’m afraid that my vivid visions will attract the experience into my reality. Am I attracting these experiences? Do you have any advice on how to stop having these vivid, graphic fears?”
Some people say we each have a soulmate and they are “the one” for us. Other people say we have many soulmates, and still others say there is no such thing as a soulmate, for we are all soulmates. So who’s definition is correct?
People sometimes ask me, “How did you get to know so much about spirituality?!” I don’t necessarily think I’m a voice of authority or anything but I usually just tell them, “I read a lot.”
Well, I started thinking about it and I guess that isn’t entirely true. I haven’t read a ton of things – only about seven books, total, come to mind – but the ones that I have read have been very helpful, and now I’m going to give you that list in the order that I read them!
Last week I wrote about five ways to start recognizing your intuition while it’s happening so that you can better know when it’s talking to you in the future.
Being able to recognize the feelings associated with intuition is first step in working toward discernment and development of those abilities which we all possess. Today I’m going to give you a few tips for helping those abilities to flourish!
Many times I’ve heard my husband say, “I don’t have a psychic bone in my body.” He claims that he’s never experienced a single intuitive episode in his entire life.
How much of that do you think is simply because he believes it?
We often hear spiritual teachers and mediums say that there is no time in the afterlife. Some of them even go so far as to say that time doesn’t even exist here on the earth plane, and in reality, reincarnation isn’t even a linear process – all of the incarnations are happening simultaneously. So how does timelessness work in the afterlife?
I think we have a tendency to just assume that simply because a person has the ability to connect with the other side, they must also have a direct line to get all the answers they’ve ever wanted or needed and therefore, they must surely be highly spiritually evolved people. That’s just not accurate.
I had my first ever hypnotically-induced past life regression yesterday and it was quite the experience. I have to admit, it was a bit different than what I expected.
Are you wondering how to choose a psychic for your firs treading? The first thing you should do is ask yourself what you intend to get out of your reading. Are you looking for advice on a life situation? Spiritual guidance? Do you want to make contact with a deceased loved one or know about your past lives? Or meet your spirit guides?
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