Why Do We Need Boundaries If We Are All One?
Question from a reader:
Short answer – you can’t. 🙂 Not really. Boundaries are a human perception, in a way, because they come from the perspective that we are separate. What we view as healthy boundaries, we create precisely because we are all one. Think of it this way: you attract people into your life as mirrors to reflect back to you certain things about yourself. Those people are, more or less, extensions of yourself, and as such, they behave toward you in ways that you behave toward yourself.
“If we’re all one, how can we have boundaries? I’ve found that I struggle quite a bit with feeling like I “owe” certain things to the world, and that it is not my “right” to say “no.” I’ve also heard the Universe doesn’t hear “no,” and so it almost seems pointless to draw a line and say, “here’s my boundary.” I know instinctively this isn’t quite right–we should all have the right to say no–but if you have any additional perspective or explanation on this, that would be amazing! I feel like I need to rationalize it somehow but I’m not quite sure how yet. I’ve noticed a trend in my life where I attract some people (friends or otherwise) who violate those boundaries, and who sort of “walk all over me.” And I’m trying to figure out how to stop the cycle.”
If you’re walking around under the belief that you have no right to say no, you’re not thinking very highly of yourself and that’s the existence that you manifest. That’s the statement of who you are that you’re telling yourself.
When you have a higher appreciation for yourself as the magnificent, powerful, creative being that you are, then you’re naturally going to create an existence that reflects that. What we perceive as “healthy boundaries” are simply a byproduct of living in a loving vibration toward yourself.
What you are currently seeing as a separation, is actually the opposite. You’re actually embracing the all of you, including your own responsibility for the life and the people that manifests around you.
Feeling like you owe things to the world is really owing things to yourself. If you begin to look at every person in the world as an extension of yourself, and then translate what you believe about them, or what you believe you should give to them, as a belief you have about yourself, or something you need to give to yourself, you’ll begin to recognize things much more clearly.
I’ve made similar assertions to the notion of needing psychic protection from negative entities. These things, too, are a part of the “all” of which you are. As such, they are aspects of yourself, reflecting back to you beliefs and attitudes you hold about yourself. The only “protection” you need is to love yourself unconditionally.
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My first reaction to the reading was WOW. Your words captured a theme woven into my life right now. The reading has emboldened me to take back my power and inspired me to research some books, get back to meditating and provided a focus.Dina