Energy Polarity: How to Balance Feminine and Masculine Energies
Question from a reader:
This is a topic I’ve not covered much on my site at all, but have touched on briefly in my Instagram stories, which received a lot of positive feedback. This question was submitted there and I thought I’d post my response here as well!
“How do you balance masculine and feminine energies?”
Firstly, for the readers who aren’t aware, everyone has masculine and feminine energy within them and it has absolutely nothing to do with gender or gender roles. Masculine and feminine energy exists within us as a spectrum. You might find yourself at any place on that spectrum throughout the day, and you probably find yourself somewhere on that spectrum as a baseline.
Feminine and masculine energy as it presents within a human being can loosely be thought of as right brain qualities and left brain qualities, with some exceptions.
Being in your higher masculine energy might look like taking action, setting and upholding boundaries (creating containers), strategizing, leadership, analyzing, or standing up for a cause. Being in your higher feminine energy might look like listening or holding space (receptivity), feeling your emotions, feeling your intuition, nurturing someone, pleasure, or creativity. You ebb and flow through these states of being all day every day.
Being in your toxic masculine energy looks like domination, control, force – or, total avoidance, lack of accountability, zoning out, not being present, and irresponsibility. Being in your toxic feminine energy looks like unbridled rage, silent treatment, manipulation, victimhood, codependency, and insecurity.
When we talk about balancing these two energies, we do NOT mean having equal amounts of feminine and masculine energy, we mean balancing the shadow of each each energy. An imbalance in one energy creates an imbalance in the other, for example: when you’re toxic masculine energy avoids accountability, your toxic feminine energy responds with victimhood. Bringing one or the other of those energies into balance will automatically recalibrate the other.
(Please note that my use of victimhood here does not apply to people who have actually been victimized. Read more on this.)
Understanding which is which helps you cultivate more of what you need in any given moment. You might want to be in your masculine energy when you want to get shit done. You might want to be in your feminine energy when you’re relaxing and enjoying yourself or doing creative brainstorming and envisioning what you want to create.
That’s right – that vision that so many leaders and CEOs are lauded for? That’s their feminine energy. Their ability to execute that vision is their masculine energy.
Balancing these energies is done in the same way that everything else is done: through self-awareness, practice, and healing energy blocks. You may find that certain people’s energy inadvertently puts you in your masculine or your feminine. Pay attention to how you react to others. Are those reactions pleasant or are they uncomfortable? Maybe your inner-masculine needs to be more assertive and set boundaries. Or perhaps your inner-feminine needs to learn how to relax and surrender to the flow of life.
As I mentioned earlier, intuition is feminine energy. One of my tips for those looking to develop psychic abilities is to stop “trying” to make it happen (which is being in your masculine), and instead, release control and allow it to happen (which is relaxing into your feminine).
As I discussed in the previously linked articles, this energy is present not just in us as human beings, but in the universe as a whole.
You can think of things like the collective as being a feminine energy because we are all connected by an unknown, unseen energetic bond and through our empathy for one another. You can think of the individual and the ego as a masculine energy because it’s based in what is tangible and rational.
When one or the other of these is out of balance, you get codependency and narcissism. When they are in balance, you have a healthy, harmonious individual – and a healthy, harmonious society.
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