Question from a reader: How do we do this shadow work? I’m am aware of plenty of traumas in my past but I struggle to break the habits and patterns I have developed. Are there any tips or advice on where to begin? Journaling? Specific meditations? I’ve read a lot on your site and I really enjoy your ability to cut through the bullshit, while holding to the mysticism. You talk a lot about shadow work, but where do we start?
Personal Development Articles
More Personal Development Articles
Check Your Spiritual Elitism
It’s important that we recognize when and how systems of oppression and classism show up in our community and in our own spiritual and business practices. Here’s a few ways that may be happening and what you can do about it.
The Success Trap
I realized a while ago that material success is an ego trap. A shiny distraction from what really matters.
Your Perspective isn’t Valid if it Contradicts Objective Reality
A common misconception that many spiritual people have is that spirituality tells us that we each create our own reality. What many often don’t realize, however, is that reality isn’t what is subjective –– your experience of it is what is subjective. The personal beliefs and opinions formed by those experiences are may not be valid, particularly compared to someone else’s.
How Ableism Shows Up in Spirituality
I made a post on Instagram last week about ableism and spirituality which has sparked some conversations that further demonstrate how ableism is so deeply embedded in our beliefs and culture. I’m going to really dig into this today and ask you to critically examine some of your own spiritually-based beliefs and biases.
The End of Suffering
What if I told you that we don’t incarnate on earth to learn lessons, we don’t make contracts with other souls to experience abuse, and that we’re not here to suffer? How would you react?
Nonduality: Binary Thinking and Divine Dichotomies
Are you living your life from an either/or perspecitve? Or a yes/and perspective?
Do We Really Have Free Will?
Do humans truly truly have free will? Don’t be an April fool.
Energy Polarity: How to Balance Feminine and Masculine Energies
Question from a reader: “How do you balance masculine and feminine energies?”
The Fine Line Between Boundaries and Bypassing
Are you actually setting boundaries? Or are you using spiritual concepts to avoid accountability and having to face your own cognitive dissonance? Let’s discuss.
On Cancelling Cancel Culture
Digging into cancel culture, racism, sexism, bias, and bigotry today. Oh my! As well as what these all have to do with spirituality.
Why QAnon Infected The Spiritual and Wellness Communities
I’ve been receiving a lot of comments on my posts lately from people within the spiritual community and outside of it all saying the same thing: “I don’t understand how people got from spirituality to QAnon.” Hold my beer, I’m gonna draw you a diagram…
The Shadow Self and Shadow Work’s Role In Spirituality
I talk about shadow work all the time on social media. I’ve had a few people ask me questions about what the shadow is, what shadow work involves, and express an interest in learning more, so I’ve revamped an old post to provide a better explanation, as well as make a connection between spirituality and psychology that I think is often overlooked or misunderstood in the spiritual community.
Speak Your Truth, But Be Forewarned…
I originally wrote the first half of this post in 2015, but I came across something on Facebook last night that reminded me of it and I had some additional thoughts to add. The phrase “Speak your truth” comes with a couple of important caveats. I’m diving into a new one in the second half of this post.
I don’t talk about manifesting a lot, even though it’s all the rage. Here’s why.
Do Not Look Away
This post might make you uncomfortable. Can you sit with that discomfort long enough to figure out where it’s coming from? Let’s find out.
The Great Awakening
You think you understand awakening…but do you?
Four Ways to Stay Sane Over the Next Two Months
I know things have been intense these last two weeks, especially here in the greater New York City area, and they are only going to get more intense in the next few weeks as cases continue to rise. Here’s four strategies that can help your mental health survive the next few weeks.
The day I thought would never come has arrived. This the end of In My Sacred Space.
The Day I Threw My Career In The Trash
Eighteen months ago, I abruptly shuttered my business as a marketing, business, and branding consultant for tech startups. Here’s why.
Confessions of Avoidant Attachment Personality
Reflections and ruminations about self-destructive behavioral patterns and how they affect interpersonal relationships, particularly those of a romantic nature.
A Year Without Sex
One year ago, I stopped having sex. Here’s why.
The Oxygen Mask Analogy
God knows I love a good fixer upper project. I’m the queen of the come up, and I’ll turn another man’s trash into treasure all day err’ day. This excellent, innovative ability to see untapped potential, revitalize and make use out of broken or unwanted things takes a turn for the worst in other parts of my personality, when I try to revitalize and make use out of broken people.
Vulnerability, Intimacy, and Deepening Relationships
Creating deep, meaningful relationships was a major goal of mine when I moved to New York. I picked quite the challenging city for it, but I seem to be figuring it out, and I think what I’m discovering is something that’s needed here, of all places.
Aligning With Your True Self
I’ve always been fascinated with how accurately (or inaccurately) people perceive me and whether or not I present myself as I actually am. Today I’ve got a little exercise for you to help me find out.
Cultivating Radical Vulnerability
SURPRISE! You get another blog post. I’m not going to lie, this is probably one of my favorites that I’ve written to date.
The Healing Spiral
Healing is not a linear process, but rather, an upward spiral of sorts. You process things cyclically and each time it comes around, you peel back another layer and get closer to your core. That’s certainly been true for me over the last several months, and I do feel like I’m starting to reach the pinnacle of it all. Finally.
Whiskey, Neat, With A Shot of Vulnerability
When Sunday brunch turns into an all-day bar crawl therapy session like the Friday night before, you just go with it.
The Other Side
There comes a time in our lives when are brought to the precipice of a great change. We are asked to rise to our own challenges, let go of all of the fears and insecurities that have kept us caged our entire lives, and make a leap into darkness of the unknown. To cross the chasm between our destiny and what we’ve never allowed ourselves to be.
Stop Using Spirituality to Kick Your Own Ass
I made a startling realization about myself last night. Ok, it wasn’t very startling. It’s a pattern that I’ve been ignoring for quite some time and never fully acknowledged until now.
Why Do We Need Boundaries?
If we’re all one, how can we have boundaries? And why should we?
The Dark Side of Positivity
There’s a dangerous kind of thinking perpetuating the New Age community from all sides. Bullshit New Age content farms are hocking over simplified clickbait social media content on a daily basis leading people into an ideology that keeps them locked in a low-level conscious state. Here’s how to spot it.
Feel All The Feels
Maybe, as a society, we don’t need to “toughen up.” Maybe we just need to grow up a little, but in a very different way than what you’d expect.
The Purpose of The Ego
Question from a reader: “I’ve been considering writing a blog for over 5 years. One of the largest questions I ask is: what makes what I have to say so special that warrants a blog. This concern feels like what you describe as the (spiritual) “ego” but I’m also curious about the role of the ego in terms of how society/pop culture use the term. So my question is: what is the role/relationship of (pop culture) ego with (spiritual) ego?”
Healers Need Boundaries Too: The Unrealistic Expectations of Healers and Spiritual Figures
Just because you’re a healer doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice yourself. Don’t let others tell you otherwise… plus – another Woo Woo Wine Night: Intro to Tarot has been added. Sign up while you still can!
What’s in a Self? Soul, Personality & Ego
“I am a bit confused about personality and soul. I understand about being in alignment and think I can feel when I am in it. However I am not sure if this is because I am in alignment with my personality or soul. If I live not in balance with my personality, I am soon aware that I don’t feel in alignment, but I thought that our personalities are just cloaks for our souls? Rarely do I feel urge to do something which I wouldn’t ordinarily do and wondered if this is soul overriding personality?”
The Relationship Between Shame and Addiction
Question from a reader: “I would like to know what the HELL the addiction theme that keeps rearing its ugly head in my life is teaching me because I would really like to learn that lesson and get the f*ck on with it! Any thoughts on that?”
When Everything Falls Apart
There are times in life – and for some of us, those times seem more frequent than others – when it appears as though we are completely enveloped in darkness. All hope seems lost. Our hearts ache. The world as we knew it is crumbling all around us.
In times like these, it’s easy to fall prey to your limited perspective and to feel as though you can’t go on. All you see around you is the darkness. You cannot see what’s on the other side.
Should We Never Get Angry?
I think, in the spiritual community, we often confuse healthy anger with bitterness and rage (unhealthy anger), which leads us to shun any and all expressions of anger. I know I’ve been guilty of that in the past, but anger can also be a healthy emotion. Here’s some tips to figure out whether or not anger is justified.
Gratitude is the Foundation of Happiness
These last two weeks – actually more like last month and a half or so – have felt extremely heavy and draining to me. From personal struggles to global events, it feels like the world is upside down. All that’s really happening is that change is in the air, but it can be emotionally exhausting and that’s where I’m at right now. And Thanksgiving is right around the corner, which means I’ll be feeling doubly zapped. But it’s times like these – especially when times are like these – that we really have to take stock of the full context of our situations and not just what we’re currently focused on.
Shame and Codependency
Toxic shame often lies at the core of addiction and codependency.
What is Enlightenment?
What is enlightenment? How does achieving it changes your perception, energy, psychology and what is its exact mechanism?
Self-Love Is Not Selfishness
Question from a reader:
“For some reason, my quiet soul draws strong, demanding people in my life! It seems they only want me around when they need something from me. Some have also talked down to me in sarcastic ways or do not listen when I speak up. I am starting to get fed up with people like this! My question is how to not attract people like this in the first place and what do I do with the ones I have in my life right now? Thank you!”
How To Spot A Narcissist and Narcissistic Abuse
Actual narcissistic personality disorder is one of the most misunderstood disorders by the general public and often confused with simply being ego-centric, which is not considered a disorder.
The One Thing You Must Do Before Developing Your Psychic Abilities
It’s really hard to see clearly when there’s a yucky film on your glasses. It’s really hard to hear someone clearly when there’s a ton of background noise. It’s really hard to talk when you have a sore throat. All of these things get in the way of your ability to clearly communicate. So what’s getting in the way of your ability to communicate with spirit?
The Difference Between Venting and Releasing Emotion
Question from a reader: “When someone else says, ‘I need to vent,’ or ‘I need to get this off my chest,’ – Do you think/feel it’s good for those involved in that conversation? I personally don’t agree with that type of discussion, avoiding those who really LOVE to vent. It appears those who do that are looking for others to share in the dense energy they’ve created out of their own ‘situation.’ Any other thoughts on this subject?”
The Hypocrisy of Preaching Non Judgment
Have you ever noticed how hard it is to tell someone not to be critical or judgmental without being, well, critical and judgmental?
There’s a quote by Wayne Dyer that says, “When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.”
Let’s Talk About Sex: Part 2
On Monday I started the first half of my post talking about sex and spirituality. I touched on just how out-of-touch our society is when it comes to sex and even ourselves, and all the things that are causing us to be blocked from experiencing true joy with our bodies and our hearts.
So how do we begin to undo what has been done?
Let’s Talk About Sex
Sex is probably one of, if not the most misunderstood, taboo subject on the planet in our current culture. So many people have shame and discomfort around sex, many of us aren’t even completely aware of it. I would wager that there’s a very large percentage of people out there who are engaging in sex under varying degrees of emotional numbness.
Breaking Belief: Recognizing Deep Rooted Belief Patterns
Learn how to identify some of the most deeply rooted belief systems and societal programming.
Shifting Perspective: How to Love Your Body
I spent last week on a beach in Hawaii. I don’t know about you, but typically that’s when my self-loathing seems to peak – when I’m constantly comparing my body to that of other people. I think about how many times I said, “I hate my body.” This one small realization completely shifted the way I thought about myself.
Are You Psychic?
Question from a reader: “Before my great nan died, whenever the phone rang early in the morning every time I was with my dad my stomach dropped. The last Christmas we had with her, I asked my cousin do you think this will be our last Christmas with nan? And he said no, but I said yes it will be. Then the day she died I was at my dad’s house and the phone rang early in the morning. Somehow I knew. I’m still confused how I was going to find out. Does this mean I have a little bit of a physic ability or just a one timer sixth sense?”
Using Spirituality To Heal Current Situations
Question from a reader: “How can I use my spirituality and new awareness to help heal my addiction and the friction it caused with the relationships in my life?”
How and Why Should We Evolve?
Question from a reader: “My question is not about the physical experience; I got that covered. Rather, I’m more interested in how and why we should evolve. For example, Jesus, Buddha, et al are ascended Masters. So how do we become ascended Masters? I understand there is the combining of knowledge (spiritual side) with experience (physical side) and that completes a needed segment…but what about evolution and ascension?”
How To Develop Self-Love
Question from a reader: “How can I develop or recognize self-love? How do you define self-love and what are the ways to practice self-love?” The way we think about self-love is COMPLETELY ASS BACKWARD. You have to turn your entire notion of it inside out.
The Influence of the Past on Present Behavior
Question from a reader: I am wondering about the events and teachings from early childhood that effect our later behavior. For instance, I have no control as a three year old regarding the free will of my parents. How do you view this and don’t we have to experience the feelings we cause once we are on the other side?
How To Identify Stubborn Beliefs
A lot of us have beliefs that we KNOW are stubborn, we just can’t seem to kick them. And a lot have stubborn beliefs that we refuse to acknowledge are stubborn! How can we evaluate those beliefs and get rid of those that do not serve us?
Some people say we each have a soulmate and they are “the one” for us. Other people say we have many soulmates, and still others say there is no such thing as a soulmate, for we are all soulmates. So who’s definition is correct?
8 Books on My Spiritual Reading List
People sometimes ask me, “How did you get to know so much about spirituality?!” I don’t necessarily think I’m a voice of authority or anything but I usually just tell them, “I read a lot.”
Well, I started thinking about it and I guess that isn’t entirely true. I haven’t read a ton of things – only about seven books, total, come to mind – but the ones that I have read have been very helpful, and now I’m going to give you that list in the order that I read them!
Psychics and Spirituality
I think we have a tendency to just assume that simply because a person has the ability to connect with the other side, they must also have a direct line to get all the answers they’ve ever wanted or needed and therefore, they must surely be highly spiritually evolved people. That’s just not accurate.
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