Healers Need Boundaries Too: The Unrealistic Expectations of Healers and Spiritual Figures

I was perusing Facebook one day a few weeks ago and noted that a friend of mine who teaches personal development through astrology had posted to her page a note about her personal boundaries and how, if you weren’t ready to heal, then do not come to her until you are.

It seemed to ruffle more than a few feathers and I found the responses to be both telling and intriguing. I’ve seen people have very unrealistic expectations of us “lightworkers.” I’ve had people project their own unrealistic expectations upon me, personally. I think, when people look at people like me and my friend and see us teaching these things, they tend to forget that we are people, too. They forget that we have our own path of growth, our own boundaries and our own weaknesses.

We, as spiritual teachers, face a kind of mounting pressure to be perfectly “spiritual” in every way–to lead perfect lives, to always be happy, and especially to sacrifice ourselves for others. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t hold healers to a particular standard: there’s a certain amount of healing they must do on themselves before taking on the responsibility of healing others, and learning appropriate boundaries is one fo those lessons.

Read How to Know if a Spiritual Teacher is Credible.

I’m here to tell you that self-sacrifice is the most unspiritual thing you can do, as a healer. The biggest lesson that all of us are here to learn is self-love, and sacrificing ourselves, our time, and our energy for the sake of another person who doesn’t actually want to do the work to be healed is not an act of self love. It is an act of self-sabotage.

It’s incredibly important for healers and teachers to set boundaries when it comes to this, or else people will greatly take advantage of you and you will slowly lose yourself, your energy, and your will to help others. I’ve seen it first hand.

If you, as a healer or spiritual teacher find yourself making these kinds of sacrifices, you need to ask yourself why you feel the need to put your own well-being below that of a stranger. You are not less than anyone else. You must respect and love yourself as much as you do everyone else. Take care of yourselves and don’t let anyone try to shame you for it.

Thanks for being here,



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