The Dark Side of Positivity

I had a consultation with potential new client for my mentorship program a few weeks ago, and in our short conversation, I asked her about some of the issues she was struggling with and what she hoped to gain from working with me as a personal development mentor.

Among the things she listed that she felt were holding her back from being truly happy, she lamented, “I have negative thoughts all the time. And I know everybody says that you need to think positive, and I try to, but sometimes I just can’t.”

I stopped her dead in her tracks.

I see this kind of dangerous thinking from all sides. Bullshit New Age content farms are hocking over simplified clickbait social media content on a daily basis telling people how they shouldn’t be negative, think negative, or hang out with “negative” people.

I told my potential client that it was perfectly okay for her to have negative thoughts. It’s perfectly human to feel negative sometimes. Or even more than sometimes.

This growing idea that in order to be spiritual, you must shun any and all negativity, is at best based on a surface-level understanding of spirituality and enlightenment and at worst, a form of intellectually lazy emotional repression and spiritual bypassing.

What is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual Bypassing is a term coined by psychologist Robert Masters to describe the practice of empty spirituality devoid of real personal development. In spiritual bypassing, a person “acts” spiritual without actually doing the internal work to develop real spiritual understanding, often resulting in stunted spiritual growth, repressed emotions, inflated ideas about their own level of enlightenment, and a plethora of other detrimental activities and ideas.

This sort of empty spirituality doesn’t facilitate conscious expansion or enlightenment, but rather keeps its followers trapped in the lowest levels of awareness. Oh, the irony…

Negative emotions, thoughts and feelings have their place. They alert us of where our boundaries have been violated. They can teach us about where we’ve been harmed, and in turn, have begun to harm ourselves. But they can only do that if and when we sit with and examine them.

I explained to my potential client that she needn’t be worried about having negative thoughts and that rather than attempting to ignore them or push them out of her mind, she should find time to sit with them, allow herself to feel them, examine them, discover where they arise from and once she has truly found the source and understood it, she can begin to work toward healing to release them.

I know that sounds pretty simple, but what is simple isn’t always easy. I look forward to helping her explore this aspect of spiritual growth and perhaps come out on the other side a stronger, wiser person.




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  1. So much sacred truth!!!! Honesty, truth, true use of medium talents, gratitude 4 BEAUTY , appreciates the opportunity 4 growth thru “Negative’ SHIT, Hun, I’d propose because of ur presentation but I’m gay and looking 4 a man like u, can u help??? thxs, but I’ll manifest him on my own, the only way 2 know how 2 do it right and feel successful about the conquest!!! You do not offer a reading I’m interested in but i am looking 4ward 2 checking out the rest of ur BEAUTIFUL site. Best wishes 2 u and urs!!!! Doug

    • Why thank you dear 🙂


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