When Was The Last Time You Cried in Front of Someone?

I’ve had this picture since September. I’ve almost posted it on multiple occasions, but then didn’t.


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I’m not sure why, but it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the vulnerability it evokes. It makes me feel silly. That must sound odd, coming from someone who regularly spills their deepest thoughts to 14,000 people, but writing my feelings for thousands of people I’ll never meet provides a safe buffer. There’s still a computer screen between us. You can feel me, but you can’t see me. Not really.

You see, the thing is, for years and years I never cried. I could count on one hand all the times I let a tear escape—maybe four or five times a year? Certainly never in front of people.

Up until a couple of months ago, I’d cried in the presence of exactly eight people in the past 20 years. Three of them were therapists, another three were singular occurrences with friends, two of whom were both with me when it happened. One was a single tear shed in front of an ex from college, and the last was my ex-husband, and I’d never cried in front of him until our divorce (with the exception of when we put my cat to sleep).

I’m still not comfortable being THAT vulnerable in front of people. I can really only think of one occasion where I really allowed myself to be a full on train wreck in front of another human being. It was 13 years ago when I showed up at my best friend’s apartment at four in the morning sobbing uncontrollably, and she let me lay in bed with her until I cried myself to sleep.

Having another person witness your deepest pain is the most vulnerable any of us will ever feel. But when that pain is met by steady presence and total acceptance, it can also be the most healing thing any of us will ever experience.

When was the last time you cried in front of someone?

Thanks for being here,



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  1. I’ve always been exactly like you Ash. I don’t know why, I totally feel all emotions should be felt fully so One can let them go. Release is so important. In my early 20’s someone I fell for with all my heart broke it. I was in so much distress that man kind could be so intentually crewel. I know how strange this sounds with todays world in total upset however I can to realize my heart just doesn’t accept these things because I don’t do them: lie, steel, cheat ect. Ash, I’ll cry watching a sad movie, when a friend cries I cry with them also when sweet animals are suffering and need help to go to the other side. My life is to serve people in all ways possible. Why is it that we are like this Ashley ? I’ve often wondered, can you explain this to me please ? thx, Lise

  2. Thank you so much for sharing. I am, like you, not one to cry in front of people. I have a huge problem with feeling vulnerable in front of people. I do have a handful of very close friends that I do let my guard down with. I sure am going to miss you and your emails. Your writings always strike such a cord with me and I relate to so many of them. Thank you again for being so open on this site and I wish you the best on your new spiritual path.

    • If you’re on Facebook, join my group (click “community” in the menu on the website). I’m going to be more active there while I figure out what the hell to do with myself 🙂


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