When You Continually Find Yourself in Abusive Relationships
Question from a reader:
There are only so many roads we can travel… speaking as a person who buys into multiverse theory, I lean toward the concept that we have an infinite number of roads we can travel. What limits that number significantly and determines the reality we actually experience is the Law of Attraction. What sets that in motion are the deeply held beliefs we have about ourselves.
“I feel very much like I live feeling everyone is part of myself. However I seem to always have abusive people involved in my life. How can I improve my situation? So far only my faith in God is keeping me strong but there are only so many roads we can travel.”
If you find yourself involved in abusive relationships on a regular basis, you have to begin to ask yourself how and why you’re allowing those types of relationships into your life.
We had a discussion in my Facebook group just yesterday about toxic relationships and how the Law of Attraction figures in. A group member noted the relationship between empaths and narcissists (which I’ve seen many an article written about). She said:
“As an example we took emphaths letting in dominant people. When you feel an inability to stand up for yourself (lack of dominance), dominant people will come to fill this gap. Also the lack of empathy the dominant person (or narcissist) lacks, he makes up for by clinging to the empath. It’s the perfect codependent relationship. Neither party realizes these qualities reside within themselves.”
It’s not that the empath needs to be dominant, necessarily, it’s just that the empath needs to have better boundaries.
Many of us will look at these characteristics as simply being a part of our personality, but in many cases this type of muted or overactive energy is resultant from childhood emotional trauma.
I recently dove back into my numerology chart and I discovered some interesting things. I’m a life path 33, so any aspects that are present in a Three life path are doubly present in me. I definitely identify with a lot of the Three characteristics – creative, communicative, witty – but there are a few characteristics of the Three that are completely the opposite of me. Threes are supposed to be exceptionally outgoing class clown types who love being the center of attention.
I am more of an introvert and am much more of a wallflower in social situations. When a person embodies the opposite of their number’s characteristics, we say that they are the negative aspect of the number.
As I was reading my numerology book (Glynis Has Your Number by Glynis McCants) she mentioned that if you run into any conflict with your number’s personality, it’s typically due to experiences from childhood and finding resolve with those experiences can help you move into the positive / healthy aspects of your number.
My advice to you is to start looking within yourself toward the aspects of your personality that may be the result of feeling weak in some way. When we have a healthy love for ourselves, we are better able to uphold our personal boundaries and people no longer run over us.
If any of your relationships are mentally, emotionally or physically abusive, you need to remove yourself from that situation immediately and put as much space between you and that person as possible. Sometimes that means limited contact, other times it means going completely silent.
If you need someone to talk to and you aren’t sure what to do, call the most appropriate abuse hotline to your situation.
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My first reaction to the reading was WOW. Your words captured a theme woven into my life right now. The reading has emboldened me to take back my power and inspired me to research some books, get back to meditating and provided a focus.Dina