When Will I Fall In Love?
Someone asked me a few days ago if I could tell them when they would fall in love again.
Let me first say that I can’t truly answer those kinds of questions for you.
They are the kinds of answers that you have to look inside yourself to find.
That always confused me, when I first started reading about this stuff -“Go within.” Like, what the hell does that mean? But I understand it now. What it means is, those types of things are meant for you to come to an understanding of on your own terms.
And those answers might change and evolve as your views about yourself and who you are change and evolve. What is the right answer today may not be the right answer tomorrow – because you will have found new understanding.
Whether or not you fall in love again is also entirely dependent upon YOU.
It’s dependent upon your beliefs about yourself in relation to love – are you worthy of it?
Are you deserving of it?
Do you love yourself?
You’ve heard the phrase, “If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect someone else to?” But what that should really say is, “If you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to believe that someone else does.” Because your self-sabotaging thoughts about you in relation to that love will always make you doubt it.
This is what I know about relationships – there’s 2 kinds. The kind that devastates you, and the kind that elevates you. They work hand in hand.
The kind that devastates you is meant to slap you awake – make you take a good, hard look at yourself and start asking those questions – Am I worthy of love? Am I deserving of love?
The people in those relationships are serving a purpose – no matter how badly they are treating you, they are doing your soul a service. They are SHOWING you – reflecting back to you – things inside yourself that you are afraid to see. So their job is to show you those things and force you to look at them and work through them.
Once you’ve done that and you come out on the other end knowing the answer to that question – “Am I worthy of love?” “Am I deserving of love?” And the answer is a resounding “YES!” – that’s when you fall into the second kind of relationship. The one that elevates you.
Because at that point – you don’t need that other person to make you feel whole. You already know that you are whole.
And that creates an open opportunity for unconditional love. You can love someone without expectation, because you don’t need their love to make yourself feel better. Your own love for yourself does that.