I’ve just returned home from spending a few days out in San Francisco and visiting Yosemite. It felt good to be on vacation, but it also feels good to be home! Fortunately, this time around, we had no issues at home while we were gone. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook will remember that when we went to Mexico a few weeks ago, our sewer backed up into our basement. 🙁

If you’ve been a long time reader, you’ll know that we just bought our house a year ago and spent several months remodeling just about everything – except the basement, thank goodness. So we’re getting around to renovating our basement much earlier than anticipated, now! Which brings me to my next thing…

I get all of my greatest ideas when I go on vacation. This blog was born of an idea I had while on vacation two years ago (yes! Tomorrow is my two year blogaversary!). I’d already decided that since we were fixing up the basement, I’d move all of my craft room stuff out into the open living area and turn what is currently a small, closetless craft room into my meditation space. I just wasn’t sure of what I’d put in it just yet. THEN…I had an idea.

We’ve got a set of old bunk beds that we’re not currently using which are just taking up space in my storage room. I decided to put them together and turn them into a canopy style meditation bed, add some crystal mobile’s to the top, perhaps invest in an amethyst bio mat and make myself a really awesome crystal healing bed. Of course, I’ll be DIYing it all and, naturally, keep you updated on the progress! That will happen after we get the basement painted and recarpeted over the next couple of weeks.

Question from a reader:

“Is your twin flame part of your higher self? Or part of each separate incarnation? This is a question I had after reading your incarnate spirit guides post.”

Twin flames are a subject I haven’t really covered before, so good question. 🙂

There are so many different ideas and definitions of twin flames that it becomes difficult to know which one to believe. As for me, personally, I don’t necessarily buy into the idea of a twin flame as a spiritual concept, but rather as a human concept.

The concept of a twin flame is derived from Plato’s Symposium.

Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soulmates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. He continues that there were three genders: man, woman and the “Androgynous”. Each with two sets of genitalia with the Androgynous having both male and female genitalia. The men were children of the sun, the women were children of the earth and the Androgynous were children of the moon, which was born of the sun and earth. It is said that humans had great strength at the time and threatened to conquer the gods. The gods were then faced with the prospect of destroying the humans with lightning as they had done with the Titans but then they would lose the tributes given to the gods by humans. Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity’s pride and doubling the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. These split humans were in utter misery to the point where they would not eat and would perish so Apollo had sewn them up and reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant harkening back to their original form. Each human would then only have one set of genitalia and would forever long for his/her other half; the other half of his/her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.


Thus, the idea of a twin flame as being the other half of your soul is born. And we’re pretty obsessed with it. So obsessed, there’s entire websites dedicated to it with lists of signs so you can tell whether or not THIS love is your TRUE love and then even more lists of all of these stages that you go through so that you can validate yourself when things appear as though they’re not working. And there are psychics out there who make a killing charging you $70 an hour or more to pronounce for you whether or not the person you are currently with is your twin flame and you were “meant to be.”

I’ve got some bad news for ya – if you need to go talk to a person who’s never even met you to tell you whether or not what you’re feeling is true love, you’ve got bigger problems…

Plato’s story is a lovely one, full of romanticism – as it should be. It’s written from the human perspective and this is what finding love in another person feels like to us. But does it mean that we are literally half of another soul? No, I don’t believe so. And it contributes to a culture that we have which places unrealistic expectations of relationships which doom us to failure from the get go (fairytale ending syndrome, anyone?).

I’m a proponent of non-duality – that is, that we are all aspects/expressions of one entity (the universe/God). While we may exist in male and female bodies, we each have male and female energy. The soul is genderless. You’ve been a man and a woman, most likely you’ve also been gay and straight, and potentially even a hermaphrodite or an entirely asexual being at some point. Your soul wants to experience it all. I also believe that our souls are complete, in and of themselves. We don’t need anything or anyone else to make us whole.

As such, the traditional twin flame lore doesn’t really fit that mold.

Another way that I’ve heard twin flames defined is that they are simply the soulmate that you’ve spent the most incarnations with and so you feel the most connected to them because of that familiarity.

A third way I’ve heard twin flames defined is that it’s not another “half” of a soul, but simply another soul that the closest vibrational frequency to your own.

As you can see, a lot of people have a lot of ideas about what a twin flame is. I lean toward the notion that twin flames are a human perception. We like to attach significance to our relationships, particularly the romantic ones, and so we’ve created a spiritual story around that significance to explain why it feels so special to us.

Someone posted a great little article in my group once on this subject that resonated with me quite a bit:

“The nature of human beings is that when they do not recognise something within themselves, in their own value, they will always, in all ways, seek it through an external form. When something or someone external to themselves fulfills the role of a specific yearning or connection they assign superior value to it and place ownership of it as ‘theirs’; their soul mate; their twin flame; their destiny; their planet; their children. Then on occasion you will have a psychic reader who comes along and informs you that such and such is your soul mate, promoting an attitude of ownership and necessity over another sentient being. Further to this, where those others are said to have found ‘theirs’, their soul mate and their twin flame, this promotes in those who have not a sense of grief and incompleteness, for they now have less Self-worth. It is no wonder there are millions who feel they do not belong. If their external environment reflected and promoted their natural spiritual nature they would in fact feel they belonged, for they would be immersed in everything that they love and all that they represent in their greatest and grandest vision of themselves.”

If you click on the quote above, it will take you to the full article and I do suggest reading it, as it discusses the nature of our relationships from a spiritual perspective and why we feel these things are so special.

One thing I found interesting in here is that he talks about how what we are experiencing that we label as “twin flame” and “soul mate” is really just soul group members that we are meeting up with in this life.

One of the things that has always been a big contradiction in my mind about the idea of twin flames is that if a soul branches off and creates two – why stop there? Why not make three or four or a hundred?

I’d always theorized that’s how soul groups are formed. You’re all aspects of an original soul/source/higher self, and of course at the highest level that’s where we all come from.

So, essentially what he says makes complete sense. You might also look at it from the perspective that we do not have a single twin flame, everyone in our soul group could, at any particular point, be a “twin flame” if you so choose to label it that way.

“This deep penetrating union of merged soul energy can be readily experienced in the spirit realm by any two beings, simply by mutual agreement. Any two beings can merge their entire being, their divine light into and within one another in order to experience a love so profound, a feel so incredible that the love you know of in human form would seem infinitely minuscule in comparison. This bonding is not reserved for merely two twin beings, but is a gift given and shared between all beings, for all beings are equal and have the same right, and same source given power as any other. The love and bond felt and spoken about by those in human form who call themselves soul mates and twin flames are merely describing the love which is commonplace between each and every spirit in the spirit world.”

I don’t want to make it sound as though the relationships we experience here on earth are not special – they are. They are special to YOU. They are significant to this experience. That soul is providing you the opportunity to experience something here in physical duality that is special, relative to the other relationships you have. And you’ll always feel a sense gratitude toward them for that. But that doesn’t mean they’re the only one who can do that for you. In fact, you may be limiting yourself by thinking that way.


So, long story short – everyone in your soul group could be a “twin flame” if you choose to use that label, in any given incarnation, because it’s you who is labeling them as such, not your soul. Every individual incarnation is a part of your higher self – they aren’t separate. Every soul and every incarnation in existence is a part of the whole.

A lot of people will read this, or they’ll read the article I linked to and feel a lot of resistance to it, mostly because they’ll feel like it’s telling them that none of their relationships are special. And particularly if one has a relationship that they feel is special, they’ll tell themselves that none of this is true. But that is only one way to look at it and that particularly way devalues all relationships.

Instead, I urge you to look at it from another perspective. Instead of devaluing every relationship, choose to understand that they are ALL special. Every single one of them, in their own unique way. They each bring out a unique aspect of you, in relation to them, because they’re all a part of you. Honor them for what they are instead of comparing them and tearing them apart trying to figure out which one is better or which one is meant to be – they’re all meant to be for however long you have them. Otherwise, you would have never met them to begin with.







Got a question you want me to answer in a blog post? 

If you have a general question about spirituality, metaphysics, personal development or how those concepts apply to a specific experience or situation and you'd like me to address in a blog post, you can submit it here. When submitting your question, please be as specific as possible. If your question is in reference to a specific blog post, please include the link. 

This does not apply to questions that you would ask during a psychic reading. Please book a reading with a reputable intuitive - you can find my list of recommended people here. I also offer single card tarot readings [GET DETAILS].



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My first reaction to the reading was WOW. Your words captured a theme woven into my life right now. The reading has emboldened me to take back my power and inspired me to research some books, get back to meditating and provided a focus.


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