Surrender, Acceptance, Nonresistance and Alignment

Question from a reader:

“Many times in the past few years, numerous people have told me to surrender. Surrender to God, the Universe, etc. I have heard of the term “surrender” but I do not really understand it, I guess. I know it is about letting go of taking control over your life and your emotions. I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to surrender. My question is how do you surrender and how do you know if you surrendered your life?”

I love this question, and it goes right along with a conversation I was having with a friend yesterday about the concept of “alignment.” When we say “surrender to God,” or “surrender to the universe,” I think that concept is a little bit misleading. It’s suggesting that we should surrender to this thing outside of ourselves, but separation is an illusion. There’s nothing that is separate from us. The thing we are surrendering to is INSIDE ourselves.

Surrender means letting go of who you think you are–the ego, the part of you that believes it is in control and struggles to remain in control–and surrendering to the higher part of yourself. That is where your power lies.

Our ego-self is this tiny little thing that believes it is separate from everyone and everything else. Because of the belief in that illusion, it lives in fear of the “other.” And it is fear that is at the root of control. We are afraid, ultimately, of experiencing something that will drive us into further separation by exposing us to more beliefs that we aren’t good enough, aren’t worthy of love, and so we struggle to control the “other” to protect our fragile egos. To stay one step ahead. To keep ourselves from being hurt.

This struggle is the resistance. And as Buddhism teaches us, resistance is the root of suffering. So in our attempts to control our surroundings and keep ourselves from being hurt, emotionally, we unintentionally create more suffering.

The “illusion” is duality–the concept that there are things inside you that are not worthy of love. The thing is, though, love is the basis of the entire universe, and you are a part of that universe, and that means that you are the universe and you are love. Love is the vibrational frequency of reality. Anything that comes from fear is based in the dualistic illusion and it is a distortion of that frequency.

If you’ve ever listened to some popular new age teachers, you’ll hear them talk about getting into alignment. When you don’t believe or understand that you are love, and you live your life with fear-based beliefs, it puts you out of alignment with that love vibration.

Getting into alignment is the process of acceptance and surrender–not to something outside of you, but to something inside of you… the love that you are and always have been, but have been resisting your entire life. That process requires discarding the fear-based beliefs that you’ve been holding about yourself all these years. Every time you love yourself a little bit more, you get a little bit closer to that vibration.

The irony in it all is that the only way to actually have any control over your life is to let go of trying to control it. 



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