Question from a reader:
This is a very similar question (and response) to the one I answered a few weeks ago about how to develop self-love.
“How does one learn to accept themselves even though the spiritual, emotional, and physical knowledge seem there, but unconnected?”
That post will tell you all about the process of shadow work and digging into self-inquiry, but I think there may be another element of the process that is relevant to your question, specifically, and that’s the difference between knowledge, practice, and integration.
We can learn about how to do the work all day long. We can know what to do conceptually, but until we actually put that knowledge into practice on a regular basis, we’ll never feel the results.
Recognizing that you have a recurring pattern and understanding where that pattern came from doesn’t push you over the finish line. Interrupting that pattern continuously in your day-to-day life going forward is what pushes you over the finish line.
Integration is a daily practice, until you’ve done it so long that it becomes more ingrained than the previous programming. That means you have to show up, conscious of yourself, day in and day out, taking all of the tools you’ve learned and applying them in real-time.
I think it’s also important to manage your expectations. Anyone who thinks that one day a switch is going to flip and they’re suddenly going to be fully healed is sorely mistaken. Healing is cyclical. We slough off one layer to reach another, deeper one, and on and on it goes. We may always have moments where we slip back into old patterns, but as long as we maintain the tools and practices, we’re able to manage those moments better and better.
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