Recognizing and Breaking Negative Relationship Patterns
Surprise! A post two days in a row! I had several question submissions backlogged so I’m finally starting to get caught up on them. Here’s one that’s been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks now.
Question from a reader:
All relationships reflect back parts of yourself. Sometimes ugly parts. Sometimes beautiful parts. Sometimes it brings out aspects of yourself you never knew existed. They’re all more or less just opportunities to know ourselves a little more, reflected through another. Some relationships – karmic ones – are meant to teach you very specific lessons that you’ve been working through across lifetimes with that same soul. Others are just reflecting back to you patterns that were created in this lifetime.
If we meet our partners as a way to see ourselves through them and learn, how is it that you break up with someone because you don’t feel like being with them anymore?
Of course there are still things I haven’t learned so I am going to meet another person that is still going to teach me what the other person couldn’t. Should I keep trying to learn things from the first person? Why do they seem to always appear again? Does that mean something?
You’ll always know a karmic relationship, because it’s not something you’re going to be able to shake easily. It’ll be really, really good, or really, really bad. There’s no in between, you’re going to have strong emotions in one direction or the other – maybe even both.
Sometimes you break up because you learn all the lessons that relationship has to offer you. Sometimes you break up because one of you outgrows the lesson and one of you doesn’t, and needs to keep repeating it. Another person will come along to fill that role while you move on to something new.
Never stick around in a stagnant relationship. You’re going to know, in your heart, when it’s time to go. The tricky part is that sometimes “leaving” is a part of our pattern and we do it because we fear intimacy or commitment, or some other aspect of the relationship. In that case, it’s going to keep happening again and again until you confront it. Same story, different character.
When you say, “Why do they always appear again?” I’m not sure if you mean the exact same person keeps coming back, or if you just mean the same situation keeps appearing. In either case, there’s still something there for you to learn – OR – the Universe is just giving you a little test to see if you’re really ready to move forward. Will you slip back into old patterns? Or will you choose something different?
My first reaction to the reading was WOW. Your words captured a theme woven into my life right now. The reading has emboldened me to take back my power and inspired me to research some books, get back to meditating and provided a focus.Dina