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By Cheryl Marks Young

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By Anodea Judith

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My Bookshelf

Browse the books I own, am currently reading, or highly recommend for those on their spiritual path.

BOOKS FOR THE BEGINNER

Conversations With God Trilogy

Conversations With God

by Neale Donald Walsch

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The Power of Now

The Power of Now

By Eckhart Tolle

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Journey of Souls

Journey of Souls

By Michael Newton

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BOOKS FOR THE INTERMEDIATE AND ADVANCED

Glynnis Has your Number

Glynnis Has your Number

by Glynnis McCants

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The Electric Jesus

The Electric Jesus

by Jonathan Talat Phillips

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Destiny of Souls

Destiny of Souls

by Michael Newton

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The Dream Dictionary A-Z

The Dream Dictionary A-Z

by Theresa Chung

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The Watkins Tarot Handbook

The Watkins Tarot Handbook

by Naomi Ozaniek

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Many Lives, Many Masters

Many Lives, Many Masters

By Brian Weiss

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Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way

Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way

by John C. Parkin

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The Custodians

The Custodians

by Dolores Cannon

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The Convoluted Universe

The Convoluted Universe

By Dolores Cannon

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IMSS is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

@ASHRISING ON INSTAGRAM

People talk all the time about how you'll never be

I’ve been seeing this one pop up recently and th

I’ve been seeing this one pop up recently and thought it necessary to tackle the nuances in a blog post.

#Victimconsciousness does exist, but it’s often applied to the wrong people as a means of undermining their experiences.

The real #victimmentalities are actually self-preservation mechanisms present in narcissistic abusers, and it’s one of the things that causes a victim of abuse to shift into being a perpetrator of abuse.

Learn about the difference between victim-shaming and REAL victim mentalities over on my blog, and how to evaluate whether or not you have one:

inmysacredspace.com/victim-consciousness

#narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistsurvivor #victimmentality #narcissistrecovery #covertnarcissism #narcissisticabuseawareness #gaslighting #codependencyrecovery #codependent #codependentnomore #traumainformed
#spirituality #spiritualawakening #spiritualjourney #spiritualgrowth #spiritual #personalgrowth #lightworkersofinstagram #lightworkersofinstagram #lightworker #spiritualnarcissism #spiritualabuse

If you've seen my stories over the last few days,

If you've seen my stories over the last few days, you know I've been harping on this topic a bit.

I see a lot of talk on Instagram about what "real" love is and how to identify it.

"Real love looks like ____." "Real love does x, y, and z." "Real love doesn't blah blah blah."

But here's the rub: love is always real.

Love is not a thing that exists outside of you. It is an EMOTION inside of you. And your emotions and how you feel is ALWAYS REAL. Your emotions. Are. Real.

This idea that we can't trust our own emotions is more damaging than helpful. It just results in self-gaslighting.

Unpopular opinion alert: Someone who feels love for you can still treat you like shit. And it doesn't have a damn thing to do with you. It has everything to do with their own trauma.

I've loved people and treated them like shit. People who I know love me have also treated me like shit. People can act from a place of love, but it isn't always that simple. Especially when that person has suffered great trauma.

I understand that all of these discussions are attempting to help teach people what healthy relationships look like, but what they don't realize is that they are inadvertently causing a lot of people to gaslight themselves into believing their feelings weren't real, or worse, making trauma survivors feel like assholes for having a trauma response and self-sabotaging instead of "acting from love."

Can people lie about loving you? Or use their trauma as an excuse for their behavior and to avoid personal accountability? You bet your ass they can. Not all of them do, though, and it's perhaps unfair to inadvertently categorize all trauma survivors with narcissists and
sociopaths (who are also trauma survivors, by the way).

The problem for survivors of complex trauma, especially in a familial environment, is that love was not openly expressed through caring actions or was otherwise mixed in with abusive behavior (which doesn't mean it wasn't there, or that we are unworthy of it, as much as our trauma brain wants to tell us so) which leaves the trauma survivor with a very fucked up concept of what relationships should look like.

(Continued in comments👇🏻)

One of the bits of “sage advice” a lot of peop

One of the bits of “sage advice” a lot of people try to give you to manifest what you want is to surround yourself with people who already have it. Success by association...or some shit.

The people who tell you this are typically the type who measure success by outward appearances like money, status, or number of social media followers and podcast appearances. How “successful” are you, as measured by a materialistic society’s definition of what everyone should aspire to.

Why would you want to measure your own success with a broken yard stick? And why would you want to surround yourself with people who have a black hole inside them that is desperate for external validation?

Instead, my sage advice is this:

Surround yourself with people who align with your values.

This is valuable for a couple of reasons:

1. It gets you thinking about getting clear on what your values actually are, and whether or not the things you thought made you successful are what you really care about.

2. You’ll learn really quickly how to spot people who are living a lie.

3. You’ll end up building far stronger, much deeper connections and friendships because you have more in common.

4. Those connections, collectively, will work together to create a powerful impact that will be far more satisfying than the usual bullshit money and fame.

No call to action to suggest that you should comment so I can build my engagement stats. If this resonates, I trust you’ll let me know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of coaches and spiritual people on Instagram

A lot of coaches and spiritual people on Instagram post motivational content about people pleasing behavior. Most of them talk about it like it's a minor inconvenience. A little behavioral quirk that you just need to become aware of and can magically stop when you "embrace your true self."

I don't think I've ever seen one of these people talk about where people pleasing actually comes from–mainly because, I suspect, they don't actually know. It seems many simply attribute it to a desire to be liked, as though we're trying to sit with the cool kids at the lunch table in a high school cafeteria.

But a simple desire to be liked isn't what drives a person to give themselves away, piece by piece, until they wake up one morning and no longer recognize who they are.

The reality is that for many people, fawning is a learned coping mechanism for complex trauma and it's far more sinister than a simplistic desire to be validated. It's a coping mechanism we learned to avoid abuse. Never mind that it’s also a response to societal trauma for women living in a patriarchal world.

Some people had to alter their expressions and emotions as a means of managing their abusive caregiver's emotions. If they didn't, it meant they'd be beaten, yelled at, harshly criticized, or severely punished. Exposure to this kind of environment, day in and day out, taught them that their means of survival was to be pleasing–or at least just acceptable enough to fly under the radar. Some of us never cared if we actually received affection–we gave up on that long ago, we just didn't want to be abused.

There's a special kind of heartbreak involved with attempting to alleviate long-term abuse by totally complying to another person's demands about who you should be, only to realize, when there's no recognizable semblance of yourself left, that you gave away all of you and it still wasn't enough.

But there's also a special kind of freedom, because in that moment, you realize that it doesn't matter...because it's not about you, it's never been about you, and it will never be about you–so you might as well be you, whomever you decide that is.

Sometimes rock bottom is the beginning of your ascension.

There’s a lot of sugar-coated bullshit floating

There’s a lot of sugar-coated bullshit floating around on the internet when it comes to spirituality.

A lot of love, light, and lack of substance.

The truth is that a real spiritual practice must include shadow work and for a lot of people who aren’t ready, that’s terrifying because it means having to actually peer into one’s own darkness, light a match, burn it all down, and rise from the ashes.

You can’t teach from that place without first experiencing it, so for those who are afraid of the work, it’s easier to embrace toxic positivity than to face reality.

If you’re looking for gritty truth over cute catch-phrases, you’ll find it in the people talking about pain, purpose, healing, and compassion.

They spit fire, not frosting.

For spirituality with substance, find me: @ashrising

Between 2015 and 2019, I went through a phase of g

Between 2015 and 2019, I went through a phase of growth which I refer to as “the softening.”

Prior to this time period, I was an emotionally stunted thundercunt who had mostly lived life in a state of numbness.

People used to congratulate me for that, because they thought it meant I was unbothered by the world. And that was true, but for all the wrong reasons.

But someone came along that cracked me open and showed me a part of myself that I’d been keeping locked away in a heart-shaped metal box.

Underneath the tough girl was a grown woman who felt deeply. When I dove into her, I completely transformed everything about myself. I found empathy and compassion, not just for others, but for myself.

In all of the world’s tumult this last year, I’ve felt her slipping away a bit, and this week especially, for some reason, I’ve felt called to pull her back.

We are many personas in any given moment. We throw on the costume that suits the moment. Mastery is learning to put them on intentionally instead of reactively.

[poetry/writing from 2018]

People talk all the time about how you'll never be

I’ve been seeing this one pop up recently and th

I’ve been seeing this one pop up recently and thought it necessary to tackle the nuances in a blog post.

#Victimconsciousness does exist, but it’s often applied to the wrong people as a means of undermining their experiences.

The real #victimmentalities are actually self-preservation mechanisms present in narcissistic abusers, and it’s one of the things that causes a victim of abuse to shift into being a perpetrator of abuse.

Learn about the difference between victim-shaming and REAL victim mentalities over on my blog, and how to evaluate whether or not you have one:

inmysacredspace.com/victim-consciousness

#narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistsurvivor #victimmentality #narcissistrecovery #covertnarcissism #narcissisticabuseawareness #gaslighting #codependencyrecovery #codependent #codependentnomore #traumainformed
#spirituality #spiritualawakening #spiritualjourney #spiritualgrowth #spiritual #personalgrowth #lightworkersofinstagram #lightworkersofinstagram #lightworker #spiritualnarcissism #spiritualabuse

If you've seen my stories over the last few days,

If you've seen my stories over the last few days, you know I've been harping on this topic a bit.

I see a lot of talk on Instagram about what "real" love is and how to identify it.

"Real love looks like ____." "Real love does x, y, and z." "Real love doesn't blah blah blah."

But here's the rub: love is always real.

Love is not a thing that exists outside of you. It is an EMOTION inside of you. And your emotions and how you feel is ALWAYS REAL. Your emotions. Are. Real.

This idea that we can't trust our own emotions is more damaging than helpful. It just results in self-gaslighting.

Unpopular opinion alert: Someone who feels love for you can still treat you like shit. And it doesn't have a damn thing to do with you. It has everything to do with their own trauma.

I've loved people and treated them like shit. People who I know love me have also treated me like shit. People can act from a place of love, but it isn't always that simple. Especially when that person has suffered great trauma.

I understand that all of these discussions are attempting to help teach people what healthy relationships look like, but what they don't realize is that they are inadvertently causing a lot of people to gaslight themselves into believing their feelings weren't real, or worse, making trauma survivors feel like assholes for having a trauma response and self-sabotaging instead of "acting from love."

Can people lie about loving you? Or use their trauma as an excuse for their behavior and to avoid personal accountability? You bet your ass they can. Not all of them do, though, and it's perhaps unfair to inadvertently categorize all trauma survivors with narcissists and
sociopaths (who are also trauma survivors, by the way).

The problem for survivors of complex trauma, especially in a familial environment, is that love was not openly expressed through caring actions or was otherwise mixed in with abusive behavior (which doesn't mean it wasn't there, or that we are unworthy of it, as much as our trauma brain wants to tell us so) which leaves the trauma survivor with a very fucked up concept of what relationships should look like.

(Continued in comments👇🏻)

One of the bits of “sage advice” a lot of peop

One of the bits of “sage advice” a lot of people try to give you to manifest what you want is to surround yourself with people who already have it. Success by association...or some shit.

The people who tell you this are typically the type who measure success by outward appearances like money, status, or number of social media followers and podcast appearances. How “successful” are you, as measured by a materialistic society’s definition of what everyone should aspire to.

Why would you want to measure your own success with a broken yard stick? And why would you want to surround yourself with people who have a black hole inside them that is desperate for external validation?

Instead, my sage advice is this:

Surround yourself with people who align with your values.

This is valuable for a couple of reasons:

1. It gets you thinking about getting clear on what your values actually are, and whether or not the things you thought made you successful are what you really care about.

2. You’ll learn really quickly how to spot people who are living a lie.

3. You’ll end up building far stronger, much deeper connections and friendships because you have more in common.

4. Those connections, collectively, will work together to create a powerful impact that will be far more satisfying than the usual bullshit money and fame.

No call to action to suggest that you should comment so I can build my engagement stats. If this resonates, I trust you’ll let me know. 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of coaches and spiritual people on Instagram

A lot of coaches and spiritual people on Instagram post motivational content about people pleasing behavior. Most of them talk about it like it's a minor inconvenience. A little behavioral quirk that you just need to become aware of and can magically stop when you "embrace your true self."

I don't think I've ever seen one of these people talk about where people pleasing actually comes from–mainly because, I suspect, they don't actually know. It seems many simply attribute it to a desire to be liked, as though we're trying to sit with the cool kids at the lunch table in a high school cafeteria.

But a simple desire to be liked isn't what drives a person to give themselves away, piece by piece, until they wake up one morning and no longer recognize who they are.

The reality is that for many people, fawning is a learned coping mechanism for complex trauma and it's far more sinister than a simplistic desire to be validated. It's a coping mechanism we learned to avoid abuse. Never mind that it’s also a response to societal trauma for women living in a patriarchal world.

Some people had to alter their expressions and emotions as a means of managing their abusive caregiver's emotions. If they didn't, it meant they'd be beaten, yelled at, harshly criticized, or severely punished. Exposure to this kind of environment, day in and day out, taught them that their means of survival was to be pleasing–or at least just acceptable enough to fly under the radar. Some of us never cared if we actually received affection–we gave up on that long ago, we just didn't want to be abused.

There's a special kind of heartbreak involved with attempting to alleviate long-term abuse by totally complying to another person's demands about who you should be, only to realize, when there's no recognizable semblance of yourself left, that you gave away all of you and it still wasn't enough.

But there's also a special kind of freedom, because in that moment, you realize that it doesn't matter...because it's not about you, it's never been about you, and it will never be about you–so you might as well be you, whomever you decide that is.

Sometimes rock bottom is the beginning of your ascension.

There’s a lot of sugar-coated bullshit floating

There’s a lot of sugar-coated bullshit floating around on the internet when it comes to spirituality.

A lot of love, light, and lack of substance.

The truth is that a real spiritual practice must include shadow work and for a lot of people who aren’t ready, that’s terrifying because it means having to actually peer into one’s own darkness, light a match, burn it all down, and rise from the ashes.

You can’t teach from that place without first experiencing it, so for those who are afraid of the work, it’s easier to embrace toxic positivity than to face reality.

If you’re looking for gritty truth over cute catch-phrases, you’ll find it in the people talking about pain, purpose, healing, and compassion.

They spit fire, not frosting.

For spirituality with substance, find me: @ashrising

Between 2015 and 2019, I went through a phase of g

Between 2015 and 2019, I went through a phase of growth which I refer to as “the softening.”

Prior to this time period, I was an emotionally stunted thundercunt who had mostly lived life in a state of numbness.

People used to congratulate me for that, because they thought it meant I was unbothered by the world. And that was true, but for all the wrong reasons.

But someone came along that cracked me open and showed me a part of myself that I’d been keeping locked away in a heart-shaped metal box.

Underneath the tough girl was a grown woman who felt deeply. When I dove into her, I completely transformed everything about myself. I found empathy and compassion, not just for others, but for myself.

In all of the world’s tumult this last year, I’ve felt her slipping away a bit, and this week especially, for some reason, I’ve felt called to pull her back.

We are many personas in any given moment. We throw on the costume that suits the moment. Mastery is learning to put them on intentionally instead of reactively.

[poetry/writing from 2018]

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