How to Know if You Should End a Relationship
Now, onto today’s post…
Recently a friend of mine sought my advice about her latest relationship and whether or not she should break things off with a guy who she was crazy about at first, but who seemed critical of her personality. It’s easy to drop someone who is an asshole and tells you that who you are isn’t who you should be, but it’s more difficult when they’re nice about it and attempt to disguise it as “helping you be a better person.”
She’d had enough of changing who she is to please another person, and wondered if this relationship was doomed. Should she just end it now?
I told her that was a tough call. I don’t know the answer.
What I do know is that we are continuously presented with relationships that give us the opportunity to see ourselves reflected back to us, for the purpose of shedding light on the things that we are afraid to see for ourselves.
So instead of looking at this relationship as a “this will work out” or a “this won’t work out” type of situation (projecting into the future), look at it for its value that it presents to you right now.
There is no such thing as wasted time if you make the most of what you have in this moment.
Move forward when you feel that you are no longer being challenged to grow as a person, because if you move forward before that moment, you will only find yourself being presented with yet another of the same situation – only a different face.
Look at the similarities between the characters from your past relationships. Those patterns that you see in them are there for a reason. What are you supposed to be understanding about yourself in relation to them? What about yourself is this relationship bringing to your attention, once again?
It’s easy to direct all of your attention to the other person and focus on what they’re doing and how it makes you feel. But as we know all too well, WE are responsible for our emotions, not someone else. WE are responsible for how we feel.
Instead of projecting those feelings outward, we should turn our attention inward. Why am I allowing this behavior? What past experiences, traumas and insecurities is this behavior triggering within me? Why haven’t I been able to release those emotions?
Those are the kinds of questions that lead to the self reflection necessary to create healing and end the cycle of repeated experiences.