Getting Past the Past
Whether it was a bad breakup, a bad year for your career, or some other emotional malady – it didn’t have to occur in the previous year for you to want to get over it. As I mentioned in my last post, 2015 was the year of letting go. But in order for you to really let go of something, you have to examine what exactly is keeping you attached to it.
In most cases, the reason the past keeps haunting you is related to memories, emotions and beliefs – the most basic being the beliefs. It’s the beliefs that keep the emotions coming back every time you relive the memories. Once you change your beliefs about the situation, you can let it go.
Many times, what keeps us tied to these memories and these emotions are a victim mentality. We are still blaming others for whatever it was that occurred in our past and refusing to look at our part in it and take responsibility for our emotional reactions.
In my post from one year ago today titled, “You Have All The Power,” I stated:
Only when you acknowledge and accept that you are responsible for all that has happened in your past are you able to BECOME responsible for what happens to you in your future.
At this point, the past is just a memory. It doesn’t even exist in your reality anymore. The only thing that keeps it alive is you, reliving it, over and over in your head. It’s nothing more than a story that you keep telling to yourself about yourself.
“When you understand that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trash can, then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.” – Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
You can choose to change the narrative by changing the story. See it for what it really was, not what you believe it was. This usually involves shifting to a higher perspective of the matter, understanding how your actions and reactions helped create the situation and how that experience has helped you become the person you are today in a positive way.
Some might call this process healing.
You’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be by giving your power away.