Everybody Wants To Be Closer To Free

Feb 27, 2017 | Healing, Personal Development, Spirit

I‘m struggling a bit to feel inspired to write this week. I’ve gone through a lot over this past year – a lot of loss, a lot of pain, and a lot of self reflection, and true to form, I feel like all of those things that I experienced have driven me to examine myself in ways that I’d been ignoring for a very long time.

It’s been a transformative experience, and it’s still ongoing. A long time ago, I did an short online workshop titled “Transcending the Ego” where I gave a visual example of how I envision the ego – as this cage of beliefs that we hold about ourselves. If those beliefs are negative or fear-based in anyway, it clouds our ability to see and express our true self.

In order to become who we truly are, we must sort through these fear-based beliefs we hold about ourselves, one by one, and discard them until we reach the bottom. Only then are we able to rebuild ourselves from the ground up in our own image, instead of the image the rest of the world thrust upon us from birth. I wrote about this in a previous blog post, the one that was published on Elephant Journal a couple of weeks ago, called “Seizing Your Personal Power Through Self-Destruction.

I think that the dream I mentioned in that post heralded the beginning my process, and now, two years later, I’m finally getting to the bottom of things. Just as my dream foretold, it was a painful process, in some ways because I made it so. But it’s also been incredibly freeing.

The scariest part about reaching the bottom is that where you go from there is entirely up to you. And when you’ve lived your life going where everyone else told you that you should go, and being who everyone else told you should want to be, that can be a daunting prospect – but it’s also exciting.

I’m excited to see where I go from here. I’m excited to start truly being my own person. This is about freedom, at it’s most basic level. Freedom to be who I choose to be, and not who I’m expected to be. That’s a theme that’s been showing up over the last two months, from my Donald Trump dream that I shared a few weeks back to many little synchronicitous messages from the Universe.

I hope to be able to share this new journey of self-discovery with you as it’s happening, so stay tuned.

Side note, I finally got my 23 and Me DNA test results back last week! There was some surprises. My grandmother had always said we were Irish, English, Native American and German. My maiden name is German and I know there are a lot of people with the same last name living in France, today. According to my DNA test, I am 100% European. 37% English/Irish, 27% French/German, 3% Scandinavian and 2% “broadly Southern European”. I guess that’s where I get my summer tan from. 😉 No Native American what-so-ever, and zero – literally ZERO – anything else.

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Thank you for your words Ash…it was almost like I could have written them! I too have had a year of loss and pain. I am looking at it like I have a clean slate, starting fresh. I am in the process of discovering who “I” am, what “I” need and want out of life. So, cheers to us!

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My first reaction to the reading was WOW. Your words captured a theme woven into my life right now. The reading has emboldened me to take back my power and inspired me to research some books, get back to meditating and provided a focus.

Dina

New York

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