Detecting Spiritual Bullshit

Someone posed the question in my Facebook discussion group the other day, “What is your metaphysical superpower?” Without hesitation, I commented, “My metaphysical superpower is detecting bullshit.” Otherwise commonly known as “discernment” in spiritual circles.

It’s a useful superpower to have–particularly when you dabble in the new age community–because there is just so much absolutely off-the-wall, ridiculously ridiculous bullshit out there. It’s particularly easy to take advantage of people who are in a certain state of their spiritual awakening, especially when they have serious issues with grounding (and newsflash, just about every person on earth has problems being grounded because we’re so out of touch with ourselves and nature).

I’ve tackled discernment many times before, typically in the arena of fear-based beliefs (demons and negative entity attachments, ouija boards, soul sucking machines on the moon, evil alien computer chips… you know, stupid shit), and today, two more equally bullshit things were brought to my attention.

1) That you can answer a few vaguely descriptive questions on a quiz and it’s going to tell you whether or not you are a starseed or an indigo, and then someone needs to “activate” you or “christen” you in some sort of bullshit spiritual ceremony so that you can be whatever it is that you came to this planet to be (indigo/starseed/blah blah blah)…. for the low low price of just a $150 donation! 

Let’s get this straight: you’re the motherfucking universe and you had the power to manifest yourself forth from pure consciousness, spew out a few galaxies, supernovas and black holes in the process, create life, AND you managed to land yourself right here on planet Earth this cozy little body that somehow does all the amazing shit that it does and you believe in your oneness with all that is, but somebody else has got to work some juju on you so you can do the thing that you came here to do?

Listen here, honey… ain’t nothin’ and nobody on this planet got the power to do anything to you or for you but you. You want to be activated? Get off your ass and get to work… on yourself.

This particular type of bullshit is right up there with curse removals and implant deactivation and it preys on peoples’ naiveté and the need to feel more special than others, contributes to their sense of powerlessness, and exploits their paradoxical belief that they currently aren’t special, even though they ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING UNIVERSE IN A BODY ON A PLANET THAT IT CREATED HURLING THROUGH SPACE AT AN INCOMPREHENSIBLE SPEED.

I mean HOLY FUCK! Do you not know how powerful you are?!?!?  Apparently not, if you think that anyone on this planet can do anything for you, spiritually speaking, that you can’t already do for yourself.

So just remember that any time anybody claims that they are somehow uniquely positioned to help you do something that you can’t do for yourself, and especially if they’re charging you for it.

Learn about toxic spiritual teachers, healers, and psychics and the ways they take advantage of the vulnerable.

And by the way, if they claim it’s for a “donation” but won’t give you the service if you can’t afford the donation, then it’s not a fucking donation, okay? Donations are optional. That’s the nature of them. Donations are also not specific in their amount. You give what you can. That’s what makes it a fucking donation. So if you offer $50 for said service instead of $150 and the person refuses, then it’s not a god damned donation, it’s a price!

I’m so over seeing people charging for their services and calling it a “donation” to somehow take the sting off. It’s bullshit. Balls up and be honest already. You’re selling something. [/endrant].

Also, let’s discuss the idea that a few yes or no questions about vague generalities that describe just about everybody can somehow confirm for you that you are or are not some fantastic spiritual being. 

I ask you to question yourself about why that is important to you in the first place. How does it change anything for you? Is your life somehow better or more valuable because you’re a starseed or an indigo or a lightworker? If you answered yes to this question, you need to re-evaluate your ego, along with your self esteem.

I see a lot of people who say, “This explains why I feel so lonely here!” Maybe. But more likely, there are a lot of contributing factors to that feeling that have to do with this life right here on earth. You don’t have to actually be an alien to feel like one. You simply have to feel like no one understands you, and a lot of us feel that way, starseed or not.

Are starseeds a thing? Sure. Every single person on earth is quite literally a starseed. There’s a strong chance that life on earth was seeded by meteors: shooting stars. As Carl Sagan famously noted, we are made of star stuff.  So if one of us is, we all are, and if we all are, then it means being a starseed is nothing special.

2) I happened across something in my Facebook feed today about people wanting to remove their chakras??????

Say what? Why? Who even came up with this idea? What would be the point? Like, not that you could if you wanted to, but again, why?

Spiritual bypassing–using spiritual concepts to make one’s self feel superior or to avoid having to do real personal development work– is rampant in the spiritual community. The only reason I can think of for someone to try to remove their chakras is that they believe they don’t have any kind of agency over them (again, giving your fucking power away) and so they can go to somebody who claims they can remove them. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Seriously. Seriously. New agers will go to ridiculous lengths and internalize the craziest spiritual bullshit if it means they don’t have to actually face themselves and take responsibility for their own shadow work. Again, nothing and no one is responsible for your energy but you. Nothing and no one interferes with your energy except what you allow.

Learn about the importance of shadow work in spirituality.

This idea that you can somehow have your chakras removed is a way of attempting to escape the consequences of your own emotions and beliefs, and rather than do the work to become self aware and examine your own ego, you’re looking for the quick way out that requires as little of you as possible. Sort of defeats the whole purpose of why you came here.

There are no magic pills for personal development.

Around here, we use critical thinking, follow our intuition, accept responsibility for our emotions and our experiences, and as a result, live exceptionally empowered lives… and no reptillians / demons / negative entity attachments / curses / implants / cabals / satan / [insert whatever excuse people use these days to give their power away here] has shit to do with any of it. All of those things–all of them–are fear-based. And believe me when I say there’s a hell of a lot more important things you could and should be working on (namely yourself) that are far more relevant to you and your personal happiness than sitting around obsessing about imaginary shit and using is as a reason to feel comfortable in your fearful state.

Read more about critical thinking in spirituality.


Today’s post was brought to you by the magical power of the words “Fuck Off.” If you enjoyed today’s post, I highly recommend viewing my other post on Discernment, otherwise known as “The Top Six Things You Should Tell to Fuck Off.”




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  1. Just had to say thank you for this post, I signed up to a newsletter once and in order to get the emails I was expected to take a quiz and then pay £50 for my results, I cancelled it and when they asked why I told them the truth that no one should have to pay to find out about their own powers. Thank you again for this anti-bullshit detector post.

    • You’re welcome 🙂 I like to keep it real!

  2. If I may quote Abraham on TWD, “I like the way you call bullshit.”

    • May he rest in pieces…

  3. Finally! Someone not afraid to call this bullshit carry-on for what it is! I love your honesty. Very refreshing in today’s world of spiritual ‘smoke and mirrors’. Thanks Ash!

    • 🙂

  4. First time coming across this article. I thank you so much for it! I do have discernment but I sometimes try to people please so I ignore it at times. I’m working on it though, thank you for the needed kick in the ass! Love and blessings ♡

  5. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Thank you for the laugh this evoked!

    Something I have also observed is what – for lack of a better term – I call the “subtle ceremony,” where someone who is awakening to a new spiritual awareness feels the need to teach; compelled to show how knowledgeable they are of the occult and metaphysical, bandying about New Age buzzwords and catchphrases. Every conversation with them is supposed to be a lesson for you as if they’re the conduits to a higher plane of being and they’re initiating you into Club New Age. Sheesh!

    • Ooooooh that. Yes, I’m well aware of those people. I may have ranted about them a time or two.

  6. Haaa good for you. This was really amazing. Finally someone calling this out. If someone isn’t putting a damn demon on any & everything they don’t understand, then they’re jackin off to their own Starseed or light-whatever the fck. It’s so annoying. “So that’s why I feel so lonely here!”..
    Ok, but also maybe you’re just an asshole. A damn
    Ass-atarian Starseed mfckr.. Pretty sure you didn’t say that, but you have a new fan regardless. Thanks much man.


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