Coming Out of the Psychic Closet

Our Darwinian society tends to have a backward notion of strength and weakness. Generally speaking, attributes like kindness, meekness and unconditional love have no place in a culture whose philosophy is is based upon survival of the fittest. Baring your soul for the world to see- being vulnerable- is not favored. Stoicism, strength in the face of adversity, and cold hard logic what we value. But the truth is, expressing one’s vulnerability is the epitome of strength and courage. To bare your naked soul to the world at large is hard enough, as most of us don’t care what people we don’t know or will never meet or come in contact with on a regular basis think about us. But to do so with the ones you love, with the full knowledge of the possibility that they may reject, ridicule, and persecute you simply for being truthful about who you are, requires bravery beyond compare.

Coming out of the spiritual or psychic closet is one of the most vulnerable moments of a person’s life. There comes a certain feeling of isolation and loneliness with owning one’s spirituality that is hard to comprehend if you’ve never experienced it yourself.

In some cases it’s self-imposed, because you choose not to talk about it to anyone or only with the select few people you trust and finding like-minded people isn’t easy. The sting of rejection from your first naive attempts to be open about your beliefs and experiences are sometimes all it takes to bind yourself with silence going forward because you don’t want to risk continued humiliation for the things that you know to be true.

“How dare you! How dare you rock the boat! How dare you, with your personal beliefs, make someone else rethink everything they thought they knew about the nature of their personal existence?”
It’s an unfortunate commonality that most self-described ‘rational’ people quickly dismiss anything that doesn’t fit neatly inside of the worldview that they’ve created for themselves. And here you are- challenging everything that they’ve come to know with your silly notions of spirituality. How dare you! How dare you rock the boat! How dare you, with your personal beliefs, make someone else rethink everything they thought they knew about the nature of their personal existence?

Because, you see, that’s what your vulnerability, your openness about your truth, does to them. It threatens their ego by shaking the very foundation upon which it is built. Tell me, what kind of strength does one have to have to be able to effect a person in such a way? It is my experience that most people will respond by attempting to diminish your thoughts and your belief–to make you feel inferior, to reinstate that sense of normalcy and control that they just lost in the face of your admission. Do you see the power you wield in your vulnerability?

I’ve always been careful to whom I share my experiences with, because I know that it flies in the face of everything that most people think they know. Some people just aren’t ready for it, and I’ve made the mistake of opening up to them. Some were steeped in fearful religion and cautioned me that the devil was deceiving me. Some stopped me dead in my tracks and began telling me that Jesus loved me and wanted to save my soul. Others simply laughed it off or questioned my sanity and after the conversation was over; they never brought it up again.

I understood why- it made them uncomfortable. They didn’t understand it, and rather than risk more discomfort, they pretended that it never happened.

For a while, I would try to present it to them hypothetically, just to gauge their reaction. ‘Delusional,’ was one of the responses I received. I’m sure that person would have tried to be somewhat more kind if I’d actually presented it to him as my own experience rather than a hypothetical one, but the hypothetical response was a lot more honest- and brutal.

I felt as if walls of rejection on all sides were pinning me in. Meanwhile, the need to talk to someone who understood what I was experiencing was eating me up inside. There’s a strange sort of helplessness one feels when they are going through something, which, by all appearances, no one else understands. It’s those moments that really and truly force you to go within and work through it on your own. Those are moments of great growth.

When you reach the point of understanding with yourself where you can quietly be who you are without feeling the need for validation from others around you, or trying to change the opinions or viewpoints of other people in your life for the explicit purpose of making the world safer for yourself- that’s when you know you’ve made a great leap in spiritual growth.

After all, how does trying to convince the people in your life that your beliefs are equally as valid or perhaps more valid than theirs differ from their staunch refusal to acknowledge your truth? It’s a battle of egos where no one wins. You’re simply participating in a cycle of reflecting negative energy back toward one another, and what’s worse- you’re telling yourself that you’re doing it in the name of spirituality and enlightenment. Suddenly, you’ve become an evangelical.

The ‘battles’ we find ourselves in with others over our beliefs are reflections of the battle we fight within ourselves. As above: so below.

What I’ve realized about being open about my spirituality is that I don’t really NEED to be open about it. I can be, if and when I feel a person is asking for my help, but I don’t need to force them to understand what I do and how I think for the sake of making myself feel better about what I believe. All I need to do is LIVE it and BE it without fear of rejection OR the need to shout it from the rooftops. That’s how I change the world around me.

Spirituality is a very personal journey–it can’t get much more personal than looking inside yourself. Always remember–your journey is not about others. It’s about you, and that is enough.




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  1. Nice article Ashley. The problem is you see so much un-needed suffering in people that you want to help them see how life really works. You get so excited and joyful and you want to tell everyone there is a different way to look at the world. But then you realize it was your pain that got you here in the first place so their pain might be their catalyst.

    • That’s very true.

  2. I have fought with this issue for the past 7-8 years of “trying” to come out of the psychic closet. My Baptist “friends” found out I was friends with a medium and pretty much banished me from their church. Some of my family and friends know but I usually get these reactions:
    “That’s really weird Stephanie”
    “Are you sure that’s God talking to you Stephanie”
    “Awesome” with a dull tone
    Or laughed at.
    I try not to take it seriously. I have hid my psychic abilities for a long time now. When I was younger, I really kept them hidden because I didn’t want to scare anyone off. Now, if I feel I can trust someone, I will tell them my story. My mom and sister actually ask me for my psychic impressions about certain things! I think that is wonderful!

    • Those Christians should realize the ones they accept in the bible as prophets but reject you as a person, just makes them hypocrites!

  3. This is EXACTLY where I am FINALLY at in my journey….just on the OTHER SIDE of that closet. I have started a blog less than a month ago,..going full force on growing my NLP business and STEPPING OUT of the spiritual closet because I can not POSSIBLY ENDURE being inside it any longer. (after my first awakening experience Jan 1996) GREAT ARTICLE!

  4. I still scratch my own head from time to time wondering how I got here and so quickly. I turn 71 in December, and I had been an atheist all my life. Even after my 29-year-old son committed suicide in 1997, I felt he’d be at peace “in the void.” After my partner and I watched “The Quantum Activist” over two years ago, something happened in my head…or more likely, my soul. We even watched it a second time, though my partner didn’t change his path; he’s still an atheist and often bristles at some of the topics I chime in on. However, he doesn’t try to change my mind, and he even shares occasional articles he finds on the internet. But now I don’t talk about what I’m learning with him. I’m careful with my daughter, too. She’s 39 and quite intelligent. I was surprised when she equated my talking to a medium to seeing a fortune teller. After Amit Goswami’s documentary I mentioned, I found “Channeling Erik.” Real synchronicity. And what really showed me something outside me was at work, was when I became friends with a neighbor, a woman older than I am who’s religious, but she was reading a bunch of books about the afterlife and true spirituality just like I was. I had no close friend after moving to NY from Houston in 2008. So here was a person who I could talk to and share with without censoring myself. The time was right. We had lived next to each other for a few years, never really talking except to say hello, but it was only after she and I both started opening our minds to this new spirituality did we just somehow become good friends. We both marvel at that. Now I also co-sponsor a Meetup group in this small NY town that’s for people exploring spirituality, the paranormal and all things related. A safe place to share what we each are accepting spiritually; no closets around! 😉

    • That was a great documentary 🙂 And it is no coincidence the way things work out, that’s for sure.


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