Alice in Wonderland
Every adventure requires a first step.- The Cheshire Cat
I guess I’m going through some major energetic and psychological adjustments. I mean, that’s to be expected when you basically chuck your life as you know it into the fuck it bucket and completely start over, but the last few days I have felt very bizarre. Life doesn’t feel real. That feeling comes and goes, but it lingers a lot longer than it ever used to.
I think the biggest thing that’s throwing me for a loop is just not knowing… anything. For the last seven years of my life, I’ve known exactly what to expect from day to day and for a Virgo like me, that sort of stability is what keeps me sane. But now? I’m just treading water. There’s also this element of having worked toward this thing for the last six months (moving) and now that I’m here, I’m like, “Now what?”
Everyone I talk to tells me how brave they think I am, how they wish they had the balls to do the same thing. I’m not going to lie, and I never have when talking about this – it was scary as fuck. It’s still scary, sometimes. But mostly, right now, it just feels strange. Strange in a good way.
I keep telling people I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Everything is new and different. I feel new and different. I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like I’m free again – maybe a little too free for my Virgoan taste. It’s strange being around people who not only know nothing about me, but have no context about where I came from. It almost makes me laugh a little, because I think I may be being underestimated, just a tad.
In a lot of ways, this place is the total opposite of what I’ve known my entire life. And I like it. It’s just all so new and so strange. I suppose I’ll adjust at some point. In the meantime, I’ll just keep feeling like Alice.
Side note: I’m recording a podcast interview with Slade Roberson of Shift Your Spirits this Friday! Keep your eyes peeled for when it’s posted.
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